Juke box in the corner is blasting out my favorite song the nights are getting warmer it won't be long, won't be long til the summer comes

Low budget advice volume whatever


If coworkers go out for a drink, go with them, if you can stand them, and if it’s at all possible. By going you find out who they hate and why, and you prevent yourself from being included on that list. The thing is life is exactly like high school, and will always be. Sometimes it’s better to play along.

The exception is in cases where you despise your coworkers, and the very thought of going anywhere with them brings only dread.


Kids get impatient when you go out to eat, but remember when we were kids? I would go out with my aunt, and after the meal we would sit there for another 25 minutes while she had coffee and smoked.


I always blog about the repackaging of nostalgia, but dammit I can’t help myself. I was at the pool over the weekend, and they were playing the same songs they played when I was a young man at the pool. I have fond memories tied to songs that aren’t very good. One summer I spent as much time as possible with my girl in the pool.

Drive by the Cars
If this it by Huey Lewis
What’s love got to do with it

All have a special place in my heart because of the memories they bring, not on their artistic merit. So back to the pool this weekend, these kids should be hearing current top 40 songs not my top 40 songs. You could argue that I should be happy to hear all those familiar old hits, they do tend to be better than the Ying yang twins, true but not all the top 40 is rubbish, and that’s not the point. Many of those 80’s hits were weak sauce, but some were good. I submit the current top 40 is the same way, some are good many are not. These kids are being cheated out of their own experience in a way. Imagine if the pool had played Iron Butterly, and Freddie and the dreamers when we were young, makes no sense.

Also it’s now officially easier to buy vintage rock tees than shirts of current bands. AC/DC, doors, and Hendrix shirts are at Walmart, and Target and everywhere else it seems. This is also sad in a way, on one hand I like most of those shirts and want to buy them, but on the other hand it’s all too easy. In a few years will these stores be selling Duran Duran, and Culture club tees? How many decades til you can buy your Fall out boy shirt at Walmart?

student lot

I drove past my old high school today, and I felt like I should peel out, or crank War pigs just for old times sake.


Can we go ahead and proclaim the cd hanging from the rearview mirror a played out bit? I don’t mean to come down on you, but I’m thinking it has run it’s course.


Shout out to the great Desmond Decker who passed away this week.

Hey America! The Pussycat dolls are crap, each single is worse than the previous. I promise this is true, this is the cd you’ll be ashamed of owning in 6 mos.

This post has a big bag of nothing.

Memories

One time I decided to spend a day at the North Texas food bank. Can’t imagine what I must’ve been thinking, some bs about being a good person or whatever. Don’t worry I so got over it. When you ‘volunteer’ at a place like this, you are mostly in the way. From the moment I arrived it was obvious that they set aside some basic tasks that I could screw up without getting in any of the real employee’s way. It was obvious in everything they did, and said that I was a tourist and was to be appeased. Take this giant vat of cans, and sort them by type into smaller bins. I was reminded of the task a small child is given when he wants to ‘help’ dad, and grandpa re-pave the driveway. It’s meaningless, harmless, but most importantly out of the way. Keep him busy for a while, he’ll get bored and move on to something else. This is exactly what people do at the food bank. You arrive all gung ho, gonna save the world one can at a time, and by 10 am. You are sweating your arse off, and you’re ready to call it a day. I just know that after we all left for the day, the employees would dump all the cans back into the big bin so tomorrow’s heroes could have something to do.


The worst part was the realization that I was no different than any other suburban douche bag who rolls up, realizes he’s contributing nothing, and then leaves by lunchtime. The workers there must’ve seen it a million times. No wonder they were less than impressed by my altruistic enthusiasum, and they weren’t terribly interested in learning my name.

Let the lameo sort some salad dressing bottles for a couple hours, and he’ll go away. I’m convinced a greater contribution can be made by staying away. If I didn’t go, they could save on administrative costs for the people who had to ‘train’ me for the 2 hours worth of work I did, they could save a fortune on liability insurance if they didn’t have to worry about tourists getting on the business end of a forklift.

Yep addition by subtraction is the way to go. This weekend I will kick back and relax in the knowledge that I’m helping by staying out of the way.

-Mother Teresa

The most average story ever told

Ever get a Dear John letter via text msg? I have, and it sucks. It’s kind of like getting kicked in the balls via Western Union.

Dingdong Telegram Thump!

Too impersonal to be that painful, and too painful to be believed it was sent in such an impersonal way.



Soda contests I like;
You twist the cap, and you win another drink or whatever


Soda contests I don’t like;
You twist the cap, and you get a code you have to plug into some website. I will NEVER do this, not once…yeah I know I’m not the target demo anymore just sayin’


You know how when you’re a kid you see that a bottle has a return value of .05 in VT,CT & DE, then you start to devise a plan to make your millions on the export of empties, only to be overcome by logistical limitations, and cruel reality. Yeah..well I still do that.


Vermonty Python contains: Coffee Liquor flavored ice cream, chocolate cows, and methamphetamine

Osama says Zack not all that, tape shows

Os-‘You’re Mr. Pink’
Moussaoui ‘Why can’t I be Mr. Purple’
Os-‘ Mr. Purple is on another job, you’re name is Mr. Pink!


Or maybe;

Os ‘Where’s your shine box’
Moussaoui ‘you’ve been gone a long time maybe you didn’t hear, I don’t shine shoes anymore’
Os ‘go get your F**king shine box!



Os ‘the wrong time, the wrong place, and we’re dead’
Zack ‘Wish I knew how to quit you!

Discovery

When I find myself wanting to start a sentence with ‘I discovered… it’s comical. Was it really me who discovered that it’s better to watch ‘The Wire’ on dvd..is that truly a discovery I can claim?

I discovered that Ben and Jerry’s Vermonty Python is so effin great, the only way it could be better is if I discovered Eva Longoria in the container.


Back in the day I was guilty of identity crisis theft.

old school? try dead school

‘Hey what year are your Jordans?

Prior to that moment I hadn’t considered how out of date I was, it’s the mid 90’s and I’m working in the indie record store on Saturdays to save for a house (what percentage of that money went to the house as opposed to buying indie records is the subject of another blog)

Yes, this 16 yr old had just innocently pointed out an obvious fact that had eluded me. I was out of style, and out of date. My Air Jordans were in fact about 9 years old, and had reached vintage status. I was Urban Outfitted without having the slightest idea.

Today I’m wearing white Chuck Taylors, and I have no idea what year they are.

Get yer biscuits in the oven and yer buns in the bed

It's not the bun stupid! I don't want Cibatta, Freschada, or God forbid a pita. Stop jacking with the bun! I really think you guys are over thinking this one.

What did more damage to freedom? 9-11 or Janet's nipple? Could the Seinfeld master of your domain episode even get made today? I never bought that episode anyway, I mean what guy is gonna hold out for days...hell I may not make it through this entry......
So Janet's nipple made us recoil from innuendo and sex, but the most violent day in our history...meh not so much.

Violence? oh that's still an approved activity, these CSI shows are showing more gore all the time, and that's just the commercials.
Why is sex more offensive than violence?

So yeah enough with the tricked up buns.

letter

Dear Dad,

I was disappointed to learn that I didn’t make the lacrosse team, but I made the rape team as a walk on.

Later days
Skip

People sho funny

I funny thing people say is ‘yeah, no I know’


I saw a phone commercial that features scenes shot at the Top Notch burger joint in Austin, as seen in Dazed and Confused, and the stretch of road from Bottle Rocket where the car breaks down. Have you seen this? Are all the shots in this ad from movie locales? Am I crazy?

Yeah no I know

No One

I mean no one plays with their balls more than me.


JUst checking if anyone reads this chit.